Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The countdown.

Nine more days until I get to bask in the glorious rays of the Caribbean.

Nineteen more days until Christmas.

Twenty-one more days until I’m never obligated to wear red and khaki to work again. ::knocks on wood::

Twenty-one more days until I never have to see your face again, good Lord willing.

Twenty-five more days until New Years. Time for new beginnings, fresh starts, and a beautiful new year.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

I just needta venttttt.

That sounds like it could be a song.
Anyhow, I just need to get a few things off of my chest, and since nobody reads my blog, I figured this is the most desirable avenue.

1) You.
Get over yourself. Plzkthx.
I thought you were my friend.
I know that it's ridiculous of me to get this upset over a few dollars, but I'd like to think that this is just the straw that broke the proverbial camel's back.
Out of every friend I've ever made in my whole life, you've been the one that's lasted the longest. That's saying something, because we both know I'm not very good at keeping friends.
You know just how much I've been walked on and taken advantage of in my life, and I thought you cared about me enough to NOT contribute to it.
I know you didn't need that money; you get exactly what you want, when you want it, without having to pay for jack diddly.

2) You.
It would be awesome if you could just disappear. Plzkthx.
As soon as I'm feeling okay, as soon as I'm getting back into the swing of things, as soon as I've successfully convinced myself that it's over and done and I'm totally cool with that, you seem to take that as your cue to show up.
Whether it be at work, at school, or on my phone, I can't escape.
It's like you know when I'm at my weakest, and all you see me as is a prime opportunity.
Well, I have bad news for you: Even at my weakest point today, I'm stronger than I ever was when I was naive enough to let you in.

3) You.
Give yourself a reality check. Plzkthx.
I don't know who or what gave you the idea that it's okay to try what you pulled, but darlin', news flash: That was just weird.
I wish so much you had just let things be. We were friends and I loved that.
You were one of the few guys in my life that I thought I could just talk to, chill with, and have fun with without any of that underlying discomfort and unsureness.
... That was cool while it lasted.
PS Stop being such a pothead, good grief. It's illegal and being high doesn't make you cool. I hate to be such a party pooper, but every party needs one and I guess that's why you invited me.


Do I just have a big sign taped to my forehead reading,
"Hi, I'm Sierra.
I would really love it if you could find any way you can to use me today.
Thank you for your time.
"

?? :(

Thursday, August 4, 2011

Thtorytime.

I wrote this a while back, and just went back and re-read it.
I decided to post it on here to give me motivation to finish it someday.


Once upon a time, in a quiet forest not too far from here (wherever "here" may be), there lived a sparrow named Sally. She was a bright young thing, full of life, and always had a pleasant song to sing to whoever would pass by. Eventually, Sally became curious as to what the world outside of her nest had to offer, as all young sparrows do. She had friends who had already spread their wings and flown away for bits of time, to come back with stories of adventure and intrigue of the world beyond the oak tree in which they had once lived. They would only stay for a few days before they became restless once again, and would disappear in the middle of the night, without a sound. After a long time of waiting, Sally let her curiosity get the better of her. One evening, just as the sun had set and all the other sparrows had gone to bed, she tiptoed out of her nest and onto a branch of the big oak tree. She looked out over the forest. "The world is so big!" she thought to herself. She wondered how she had never noticed it with her own eyes before. She took one last look at Momma and Poppa sparrow, safely tucked into their warm bed, made of soft hay and yarn and all the things that sparrows delight in, and, like a whisper, she was off.

If you asked her to describe how it felt – the first time flying on her own – she wouldn't have been able to tell you. There were so many sights, sounds, and smells! She could feel the wind rush underneath her, making her feel weightless, murmuring to her all of the possibilities that awaited her if she just kept flying. She could hear in the distance all of her friends who had left their nests before her. There was laughter and ease in their voices. Sally was absolutely thrilled when she arrived home a few hours later, but what was waiting for her was a very worried Mom and Pop. "You don't know what it's like out there, Sally." they warned her. "It's full of unforeseen dangers that a young sparrow like you knows nothing about. Stay home, Sally. Stay home." And so, for a while, she did. She kept herself busy talking with Mom and Pop, laughing, learning, and living life together with all of the beautiful creatures that lived in her big oak tree.

One night, while Sally was sleeping peacefully, seemingly without a care in the world, she awoke with a start. The wind outside – was it speaking to her? "Come on, Sally!" She could hear a soft whisper, almost a mocking giggle. "Come on! Let me take you flying again! You remember how it felt! You were on top of the world! Weightless!"
"No!" Sally replied. While she would never usually talk to such a thing as the wind, it was so real, right there, that she felt she had no choice. "I like it here! I'm safe! I'm loved! Leave me be."
The wind replied with no words, but instead slithered into Sally's nest and chilled her to her core. She shivered and looked over at Mom and Pop, who were lying completely undisturbed. Their chests were rising and falling in silent unison, and Sally couldn't help but wonder if she was simply having a bad dream. She didn't remember the wind making her feel this way that first night. It was so freeing and exhilarating! Now it seemed to be taunting her, mocking her for coming back to her nest. "Leave me be!" She said again, louder this time. She covered herself up with a pile of old newspaper and squeezed her eyes shut tight.

For a while, she heard nothing. All was still, save for the sweet song of the crickets on the ground below every so often. After she thought everything was calm again, Sally got up slowly, silently, and crept towards the opening of her nest. She had to see where this strange wind had gone, and where it had come from. A fear filled her, a fear she didn’t remember feeling before. Her heart jumped into her throat, but still, for reasons she could not explain, she went on. When she reached her door, she took a deep breath and stepped outside. She looked around curiously, suspiciously, and saw nothing, heard nothing. She breathed a deep sigh of relief, laughing at herself. It must have been a bad dream. It was certainly nothing more. She turned around to go back inside. Suddenly, out of nowhere, that same wind, which had been waiting stealthily behind her tree, seemed to grab her by her foot and throw her into the air. She plummeted towards the forest floor, with a pitiful, almost silent scream that no one else could hear, for it was the middle of the night and they were safe in their homes.

Monday, July 11, 2011

I'M LEAVING TOMORROW!

For two weeks! I'm honestly quite excited and I cannot sleep because of this.
My previous blog stated something similar to this fact already, but it was kind of angsty and teenager-y and written out of something akin to frustration. So, sorry about that.

But now that I'm happier, I see that this will be a beneficial trip for me in all aspects.
~ I won't even have the opportunity to use a cell phone or computer, because Yellowstone is just old-school like that, and I love it. I will have no distractions whatsoever.
~ I will get to spend some much-needed time with my lovely family.
~ I'll be able to get back in touch with my more artsy side. Nature just does that to me.
~ Nothing. Will. Be. Rushed. I will have nowhere to be. No one to see. Just lil' ol' me, and the family. (Poetryyy!)

It's coming back that's gonna be the hard part. Mostly with
changes.
Usually, I'm okay with change, but when it comes to people I love, I'd prefer them just stay consistent.
I'm not really the most consistent friend, ask nearly anyone I know. But the people I do have in my life, I love more than life itself.
And the day I get back, I'll have, like, two weeks left with two of my dearest and closest friends. And then they'll go to college. And life will happen.

BAH but I don't want to think about that. The here and the now. That's what's important.
And right NOW, I have to wake up in approximately four hours to leave on a roadtrip! :D

Thank goodness that car rides were created for naps.

Friday, July 8, 2011

All the t's have been crossed and the i's have been dotted.

I'm ready to get away for a couple of days - or weeks...
I'm ready to forget about the stresses of real life and become enveloped in nature.
I'm ready to leave behind all communication with the outside world.
I'm ready to be able to sit back and just contemplate whatever I want to.
I'm ready to start writing again. Like, really writing. With a pen and paper.

... I'm gonna go get ready for work.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Why am I awake right now...?

I've been saying for a long time now that I'm going to start getting up early (earlier...?), but I never truly believed it. However, here I am! 8:30am, making progress!

Do you kids realize how much times have changed?
There are, like, a million new outlets of communication open to us than there were even 20 years ago.
Okay, maybe not a million, but at least two: Texting and Facebook (Or MySpace, if you're still aboard that ghetto train).
And I consider them both to be somewhat dangerous if they're not handled in the proper fashion.
Consider the following scenarios one puts themselves in when they involve themselves with our current outlets of social media.



1) One doesn't have to put any effort whatsoever into what he or she is saying. For example:
Billy - hey u
Carla - how r u
Billy - fine u
Carla - good, wut r u up 2
Billy - nm u
Carla - nm just chillin

This chit chat can go on for hours, and all the while, NOTHING worthwhile is actually being said.



2) Something can be taken wayyy out of context, and can lead to a completely unnecessary conflict. For example:
Billy - hey babe how was ur night?
Carla - fine :) went out w the girls. urs?
Billy - cool. hope u had a good time.

This can oftentimes lead to a ridiculous amount of overthinking on Carla's part.
"Do those two short sentences ending in periods mean that he wishes I had gone out with him instead tonight?? If they had ended in exclamation points, surely it would have been a given that he was sincere... A smiley face would have been reassuring too..."
Carla, do you even realize what you're saying right now? A smiley face would have been reassuring?

Carla - whats that supposed to mean?

And then it alllll goes downhill from there.
Honey, he's a man. He's not incredibly passive-aggressive and manipulative like you and the rest of womankind. He's probably just sayin' what he means.

*Guys, I'd just like to take this moment to say thank you. Although some of you out there are douchebags, thanks for being honest about it. XD*
*And I'm sorry on behalf of my gender. I know we're crazy.*



3) We have it way too easy. Nobody has to step up and be proactive in getting to know another person better, and Facebook is THE WORST for this. I hate Facebook and I love Facebook.

- Add someone as a friend, and you automatically know some of the most important things about him or her (or, at least, what he or she wants people to think are the most important things about him or her... [the internet is a wonderful tool of deceit]), so why ask? Just do a little Stalk-booking, as my mum calls it, and you have a new acquaintance without ever actually having to have a real conversation! Creepy much?

- You have to put absolutely no effort into talking to a certain person you actually want to talk to.
Nobody wants to take a chance on people anymore. We're all too high on our horses to step down and even consider the possibility of being rejected, so the smart thing to do (obviously) is sit at your computer for hours, wait until someone you legitimately want to talk to appears in the magical chat box, and send him or her an extremely casual "What's up" message.
If this person doesn't reply, or is just simply short in his or her responses, you don't have to be all self-conscious waiting for him or her, because, hey, you can convince yourself that you were simply talking to that person out of convenience.


Convenience, convenience, convenience.
Isn't that what we're all about?
Convenience and comfort and instant gratification.
Welcome to America in the 21st Century, ladies and gents! Ain't it grand?

I think a lot of us have very skewed views on what relationships are supposed to be like. Trust me, I'm not excluding myself from this group, but sometimes it gets frustrating seeing the so-called predicaments the people around me put themselves in.
I went out with a boy last night.
I'm not 100% sure if we "went out" or went out, if you know what I mean. Quotation marks work wonders!
Anyway, dinner and a movie. Classic.
And it was SO refreshing to be able to sit down with a guy and just have fun and face-to-face conversation and delicious food and watch a horribly awkward, hilarious film.
Not to say that it didn't leave me wondering (Probably the fault of my overactive brain), but hey, a really cool person put a legitimate effort into getting to know me (the real me, not the Facebook me) better, and that's enough for now [:

Bye!

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Warning...

I think I'm becoming a hermit for a week, starting Sunday XD

That's really all. I'm hoping to become incredibly inspired and then blog a lot and share it with you.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

"You're on the home stretch!"

"7 more weeks to go!"

That's what the shining billboard outside PPCC boldly proclaimed as I pulled into the parking lot today, and I nearly melted with relief.
But of course, that means only 7 more weeks to pick up my grade in my hackin' literature class.
I don't care about your band, Ian. But then again, I don't care about Beowulf, so let's talk about just how hardcore and awesome your guitar skills are. But then again, I don't get a good grade for talking about your guitar skills.
Anyway. Enough about Ian and his band and Beowulf.
Summer, summer, summer.
It seems like I can't say those words enough.

Every year, summer vacation becomes so much more appealing than it was the year before.
I remember after last break when I was ready and even excited to go back to school... What was I thinking?? xD


I have got some big plans for this summer.
Two roadtrips, one to Austin with RoRo, and one that ultimately leads to Arizona.
But not before Alice and I visit my grandparents [:
Some job hunting, maybe.

I'm super excited to be freeeee.

Now excuse me while I study for this American government test.
Maybe I'll just shoot myself in the foot instead.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

I think I have a problem.

I may have finally found a way to put it into words.

I don't want to give anyone the impression that I need him or her any more, or even as much, as he or she needs me.

It's as simple as that.

NOW I have to find a way to fix it.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

How awesome is THIS.

Killing time. Waiting for mum and sistah to get home.
Thanks, Thing 2.
^^

Promise you won't lie?
Pinky promise.

Was the person you last texted single?
Bahaha, depends on who you ask.

What are you currently waiting for?
Mum and sistah! I told you!

Do you think more about the past, present, or future?
Present.
My past has affected the way I think, and the future will affect the decisions I make,
but I prefer to live in today.

Honestly, did you really love the last person you said I love you to?
My dad!
Of course [:

Is anything wrong with your eyes?
Yes. I'm blind as a bat O_o

Who were the last people you saw besides family?
Thing 2 and Jeoffrey!
And the positively delightful owner of Rong Cheng.

Have you ever received a love letter more than a page long?
Yeah! It was crazy long.

If something was wrong, who is the first girl you would go to?
Christina or Sierra or Alice.
It depends on the situation.
The sitch.

Who's thinking about you right now?
Probably the person reading this survey, considering it's all about me...

Is this year the best year of your life?
We'll see.

Which of your friends lives closest to you?
Probably Sierra or Alice.

How do you feel about a Diet Dr Pepper?
I don't believe in it.

Do you ever work out?
Do I ever!
::flexes::

Do you go to the tanning bed on a regular basis?
Not as regular as I'd like... >_<
Ghost.

Does your bedroom need cleaning?
Always.

Would you rather take a relationship really slow or really fast?
Somewhere in between.

Do you ever hang out with someone of the opposite sex?
Are you kidding? Boys?
Ewnothx.

[;

Are you comfortable with your height?
It works fine for me.

Are there things that can't be joked about with you?
Probably.

What do you always take with you?
My phone.
My poor, sweet, shattered phone.

Anything on your walls?
Hardly anything! D:
I don't like moving rooms.

What do you bite more, your tongue, lip, or cheek?
Lip.
::sexy bite::

Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months or more?
Pff. Yeah. Yeah, I sure can.

Do you crack your knuckles?
More than is necessary.

Would you ever swim with sharks?
Yes! Here I come, Georgia. You'd best be ready.

Do you have a box where you keep all your important things?
It's more a shelving unit.
It's shaped like a box, though... A for effort.

How many times have you dyed your hair?
A bajillion.

If you were abandoned in the wilderness, would you survive?
Depends on how long I was abandoned T.T

Is there someone you can tell anything to?
Yes.

How old will you be in 17 months?
Almost twenty years old.
@_@

Do your best friends’ parents tend to like you?
Oui!
I make good first impressions.

Are any of your friends taller than you?
Almost all of them.

Do you prefer the ocean or a pool?
Oceannn. Venice Beach, baby.

Are you the same person you were in 2009?
If you want to get technical, sure! [;

Do you make good grades?
Probably...?
College sucks.

Have you ever been on a motorcycle?
It's AWESOME.

Does it bother you when someone says they will call you and they don't?
No, 'cause I can feel his or her pain.
I'm the worst at that.

Could you name all 50 states and point to them on a map?
Never have, probably never will.

Are you someone's best friend?
Yeahman, BFsF.

Have you ever smuggled anything into America?
Yes,
my father.

What's usually colder, your hands or your feet?
They're both equally chilly,
and I don't know why.

Has a song ever made you cry?
Songs are usually what make me cry.
So yes.

Is the world crumbling to pieces?
My universe has been shattered on multiple occasions.

Is your handwriting large, tiny, or pretty normal?
Depends on how fast my teacher is talking XD

When your phone rings what do you say?
Usually, I say "Bonjour!", which is weird, because I don't even speak French.

Have you ever been a gymnast or a cheerleader?
"Gymnast."
Notice the quotation marks. They're important.

Do you always answer your phone?
I probably answer my phone about 9% of the time.

Are you ticklish?
Eeeee yes [x

What is your biggest regret?
My biggest regret in life is that I'll never own a dog.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Snowed in, part 2.

I TOLD YOU I HAD A BAD FEELING ABOUT CHRISTINA AGUILERA SINGING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM.
You'd think that she'd remember the lyrics, considering how many times she's sung it before.
::disappointed::

Anddd, the Packers won... Wutwut!
Take THAT, team-that-looks-like-wasps.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Snowed in.

I randomly found a webcam on my mom's laptop tonight.
It's been fun.
I was bored, had stuff to say, and Sierra Eberle made a video, so why not, said I.
WWT2D?

Forgive me for being so weird.
This is me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CVM-H4k-VUU

And this is "Pamela Belle"..... XD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImCWjbAOXKo

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Bye, Facebook!

That's right, I deactivated my Facebook account.
I will now never know who's in a relationship with who, or who broke up with who, or who's eating salad and who's using the bathroom at whatever moment in time.
I think I'm okay with that, though. Especially the bathroom bit. Hah.
Facebook has made it so easy to become apathetic and unintentional in relationships.
When I wonder how so-and-so is doing, their whole life is just a click away.
I figure if I'm that curious, I'll just ask them.

So this and Twitter are now going to be my connections to the outside world. I'll probably be blogging a lot more.
WHO WILL LISTEN TO ME NOW?? ._.

Kthxbai.

Thursday, January 27, 2011

The (not so) grand switcheroo.

Is it just me, or does it seem like men and women have switched roles completely?
I think men have kind of forgotten how to be strong. Pursuers. Chivalrous.
Everything that comes to my mind when I think of a real man has kind of vanished.

As a result, I've seen women around me - who are already desperate, mind you - go to extreme lengths in order to get noticed by guys who are too lazy to do much about it anyway.
And it makes me sad.

I see it happen all the time. At work, at school, at a random restaurant in which the table full of awkward, giggly teen girls are trying way too hard to get the attention of the semi-attractive waiter.
As I sit back and watch all of this go down, I wonder what in the world caused it and when in the world it happened.

If any of you know me at all, you probably recognize the fact that I am one of the least romantic girls who has ever lived.
I hate dresses. I hate shopping for them and I hate wearing them.
I'm really not a big fan of the whole "let's read poetry and take long walks on the beach" idea.
I'd much rather sit at home with pizza and Mountain Dew and video games.

But I can still appreciate a man who can be a man.
A man with morals and life goals and drive and really great hair.
A man who can be my best friend, but still give me butterflies every time he touches my hand.
A man who's willing to step it up and actually pursue a lady, rather than sit back and wait for her to practically sit at his feet and beg him to give her the time of day.
I'll never be that girl, and I wonder if there's "that guy" out there.
Time will tell :D

Sunday, January 23, 2011

The start of something new.

... And now that dadgum High School Musical song is going to be stuck in my head for who knows how long...
::turns on Regina Spektor to prevent any further HSM-singing::
::sees that Zune has a major scratch on screen::
::cries::
(That was just for you, Sierra Eberle.)

I guess I need an iPod now, like everyone else...

Side note: I'm going to stop capitalizing my posts like they're titles. Only the first word will be capitalized. I've decided that's sufficient.

SCHOOL STARTS TOMORROW. I can't believe I'm this excited.
I'm stoked to meet new people, mostly.
I mean, the learning part will be cool, too... I guess...
Just getting out there again will be fun.
But with school starting also comes my full-time work position in full swing.
Tomorrow, I have to be at work 15 minutes after I get out of school.
Same with Wednesday.
I'm gonna need some supernatural assistance plzkthx.

Ah, this week is going to be good, I think.
I got to talk to a really cool person tonight who shed a lot of light on my current situation without knowing it XD
I got to return the favor.

I am in repairrrrr...
::listens to John Mayer::

Okay, Sierra, I'm done.

Goodnight, world! (;

Friday, January 21, 2011

I Wonder.

I wonder why the McDonald's drive-thru line is always longer than the Jimmy John's drive-thru line. America, you don't know what you're missing out on!
What a sad and tasteless world we live in.
"Disappointed, but not surprised." <-- I wonder if that's possible.
I wonder how Aaron Stern knows exactly what to say to me, even though he has no idea what I'm going through.

I wonder... (here comes the lengthy one)
how I can think I want something so badly for 9 months, and then when the opportunity finally comes knocking at my door, I have no doubt in my mind that the right thing to do is say no.
Mind that I don't say it's easy,
it's just... right.
I wonder if I ever really wanted it at all.
Aye, and if not, I wonder why I gave so much.

I wonder if it really is impossible to frown whilst eating a Frosty. I've never tried.
If there's someone who never texts you back, don't you wonder if it's because what you said is completely void of any real substance? I'd prefer to think that it's because whatever I said is something so clever and profound that the other person forfeits and just allows me to say the last word.
I wonder why Hollywood is so set on making pain look so desireable. Watch Remember Me and tell me you don't want to be in that situation, no matter how crappy we all know it truly is.
I WONDER WHY THIS CAT WON'T GET OFF MY LAP >_> Cats aren't supposed to be cuddly creatures! ::confused::
I'm starting to wonder if there really is a loving, personal God out there who hears the prayers of the righteous people around me and is starting to reach out again, even though I've pulled away for so long, wanting to live my own life and make my own decisions,
and I'm starting to believe the answer is yes.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Just because we use cheats doesn't mean we're not smart.

Since when did I become so adult-like? Not sure I'm a big fan of it.
My job just became full-time. Forty hours a week.
I switched my major and am getting ready to go back to school. Also full-time.
Full-time + full-time = x_x
I'm not sure I'm ready to handle this.
We'll find out. If I'm still alive by the end of February, I think I'll probably throw a party.
Forget Valentine's Day, I'm going to celebrate "I'm surviving 2011 thus far" Day.
Valentine's is overrated anyways c;

ALSO
Since when did I become so hipster-like?
That's definitely the word that three different people have used to describe me over the past two days.
... I don't really have anything else to say about that. I was just making an observation.

I was definitely overtaken by a rush of creativity tonight, and I ended up making a spontaneous Wal-Mart trip to pick up magazines and posterboard and glue sticks. It was the bomb.
I was so excited by it I ended up eating my yogurt and granola way too fast and I gave myself a stomachache.
I also forgot how creative and wonderful the Juno soundtrack is.

I'm feeling way too random tonight. I could write for hours, but I have to be up at 4am!
AHHHYAYYYY!

I'll leave you with this final thought, though:
I have never met anything - or anyone - that frustrates me as much as my garage door. Ferreals.