Saturday, February 20, 2010

God is SO Good. End of Story.

Exactly one week ago, I was in a car crash.
Hit the guardrail on I-25 going 70 miles per hour.
Seatbelt didn't lock,
airbag didn't deploy til I hit my head on the steering wheel
(So helpful, those airbags...).

And miraculously, the only damage I've obtained is a sicknastyawesome black eye,
some scrapes on my face,
and a minor concussion that should be gone within 2 weeks.

Only that.
When I could have easily died.

That brings me to 2 conclusions:
1) I don't thank God enough for every day I'm alive. Every heartbeat. Every moment that I'm able to cherish.
2) I obviously have some work here on the earth to accomplish still. God isn't done with me yet.

And I think that is a wonderful honor. I don't take it lightly.

So, whenever you're thinking your life sucks, or just isn't fair,
just remember that you're alive for a purpose. And that purpose is to glorify your Savior with every breath, and love others the way He has loved us.
I have to remind myself of that sometimes.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

The Misconcpetion.

Valentine's Day was Sunday.
It makes me wonder,
Why do so many people hate Valentine's Day so much?
Sure, they may be bitter they don't have a significant other.

But that's NOT what love is.
1 Corinthians 13. That's what love really is.
It's not about the chocolates and the flowers and...
Whatever else goes on on Valentine's Day.

I think Valentine's Day should be one of everyone's favorite days.
How awesome would it be if just one day out of the year,
we could live 1 Corinthians 13? Genuinely?
The world could be such an amazing place.

That's what I think.

Friday, February 5, 2010

The Dream.

I was laying in a hospital bed.
I needed a new heart.
Everywhere I looked, doctors were reaching for me.
Wanting to look. Wanting to help.
I fought them with everything I had.
"They don't know how damaged my heart really is."
It's better to have them here, now, trying to see, but finding nothing,
(At least I know they're trying)
than to let them in and see all they have to fix.
Then to have them leave me;
decide I'm not worth it.



I can't exactly put my finger down on the moment
I starting becoming
who I see when I look in the mirror now,
but I know I regret that moment with all of my heart.

To quote the wise Marie Digby:
"My soul, it's dying to be freed,
you see... I can't live the rest of my life so guarded.
It's dying to be free; it's up to me to choose..."

I choose to break down these walls.
I'll let someone see the real me.
No more masks.
No more hiding.
No more lying.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

The Little Things.

Today, I noticed a lot of little things that make me happy.
The way kids say "I wanna hold you" when really, they're asking you to pick them up.
Surprising my friend by visiting her at work, and receiving an extra-large Mountain Dew in the process.
That the car's blinker in front of me was the same as mine for 12 blinks
(I bet I could've worded that sentence so much better...).
That may be a record.

With all the stuff life has been throwing at me lately,
I have taken zip amount of time to sit back and think about all the things I've been blessed with.
All I can focus on is the change. The hurt. The disappointment.
Those are some of my least favorite things.

But I've decided that God's bigger than all of that.
And when I focus on His goodness, and the life He's given me, and the love He showers on me even though I don't even come close to derserving it,
I can see clearly.
His consistency.
His grace.
His unfailing, passionate pursuit of me.

And that's more than enough to make me happy.

The Dealio.

I've wanted to start a blog for quite some time now.
I've heard "It's the thing to do."
So I figured, why not?
So, bear with me and my emotion vomit for now.
We'll see if I stick with this.

(;